


What You See in The Mirror

by aaliona



Series: Yukonic [3]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Negasonic, Nonbinary Teenage Warhead?, Yukonic, both characters are around 17, character dealing with body dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 19:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15079808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaliona/pseuds/aaliona
Summary: All her life, Negasonic had seen the costumes of female superheroes. They had varying numbers displaying low necklines, boob windows, and tiny scraps that acted as clothing. The very idea of wearing something like that filled Negasonic with enough dread to make her nauseous. Her chest filled her with enough concern just by existing. No one else needed to see it.





	What You See in The Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Unrelated to the story below: I'll be doing short stories for Camp NaNoWriMo and plan to write fanfiction for most of it. If you've got any prompts or things you'd like to read, I'd love to hear about them in the comments or on Tumblr.

In the middle of the night, Negasonic stood in the bathroom staring in the mirror. 

No one else was awake, so she felt confident enough to have stripped off her pajama top. She spent her days keeping her chest hidden beneath her functional costume or structured jackets. She never put them on display like this.

Tentatively Negasonic raised a hand, brushing it against the curve of her breast. It was too much. It was always too much. 

“What are you doing?”

Negasonic physically jumped, hands splaying out to cover herself. She turned away from the doorway, but with the mirror right there, she ended up making eye contact anyway. She scowled as she made eye contact with her girlfriend, not to be rude but rather out of habit.

“I could ask you that,” Negasonic said, defensive at being caught gawking at herself.

Rather than answering, Yukio strode forward. She landed at the sink, leaning against it in such a way that Negasonic still had space. “Is something wrong, El?” she asked in a gentle voice.

Negasonic could feel her heart beating loudly. While Yukio was a big fan of cuddles and Negasonic was happy with a good make out session, she’d never let Yukio see her shirtless. Her girlfriend loved to preen and readily stripped off her upper layers, but Negasonic had never been able to bring herself to strip completely, always keeping at least a sports bra on. She’d never been able to handle the thought of eyes roaming across her chest.

To her credit, Yukio was gazing expectantly at her girlfriend’s face. Negasonic hadn’t noticed her taking a single sneak peek since she’d entered the room. The level of self-control was enviable.

Very slowly Negasonic let one arm drape down, sliding off her chest and down to her side. Without meaning to, she instinctively moved the other arm for total coverage. She took a deep breath to steel her nerves before lowering that one as well.  
Yukio didn’t look. She kept her eyes firmly on Negasonic’s face.

“Is this about what Russel said?” she asked softly.

Negasonic swallowed hard, fighting to keep her hands down. Protection from Wade or no, she had full out decked him for his piggish comments earlier that day. They’d just gotten done with a training simulation when he’d made a sweeping comment about the teen girls at the mansion. “When are you all getting real lady costumes?” he’d asked.

A couple of the other girls had scoffed and walked away, but as Negasonic stalked past, he’d opened up his mouth again. “Aren’t lesbians supposed to have, like, really big tits? Gonna get a costume that shows them off?”

Negasonic had not managed to keep her anger in check. To be fair, Wade offered up the sage wisdom of, “I also would have hit him if I were you,” when she texted him the situation.

All her life, Negasonic had seen the costumes of female superheroes. They had varying numbers displaying low necklines, boob windows, and tiny scraps that acted as clothing. The very idea of wearing something like that filled Negasonic with enough dread to make her nauseous. Her chest filled her with enough concern just by existing. No one else needed to see it.

Negasonic took a deep breath and lowered her hands to her sides. “You can look if you want.” She hated how tight her voice sounded, like all the coils of heat inside her had congregated in her throat. 

“Are you sure?” 

God, she had the best girlfriend.

Negasonic nodded, taking a step closer as a secondary sign of affirmation.

Now that she had complete permission to do so, Yukio moved slowly. She angled her head down just slightly, eyes dancing over Negasonic’s bare chest. “You’re beautiful, Eli,” she said, voice hushed as her eyes returned to Negasonic’s face.

She scoffed. “Hardly.”

“Do you not like your chest” Yukio asked.

Negasonic shook her head. “I hate it. There’s too much. I know it’s not really that much, but any is too much. I don’t need people staring at my chest. It’s just…” She trailed off. “I don’t want to look like a girl.”

Yukio didn’t respond right away, and Negasonic froze. She searched Yukio’s face for any clues about what she was thinking, but Yukio didn’t give anything anyway.

“I don’t…” Negasonic swallowed hard before adding another confession. “I don’t want to be a girl.”

Yukio opened her mouth, licking her lips as she studied Negasonic’s face. “Do you want to be a boy?”

Negasonic had thought about it over and over, but that didn’t seem right either. “I don’t really think I’m either.”

Yukio nodded, turning away from Negasonic. 

She shivered, fearing the worse, but Yukio simply leaned over and picked up Negasonic’s discarded pajama shirt. “Do you want me to use different pronouns?” she asked as the handed over the shirt.

Negasonic felt a rush of warmth as how prepared for every situation Yukio seemed to be. She rolled with just about anything and always managed to make it seem planned, even when it threw her off a roof--figuratively or literally on occasion.

Negasonic took the shirt readily as she considered the question. “I don’t know. That sounds nice in some ways, but I can’t decide. Most people are going to use she/her, and I don’t really mind it.” Negasonic popped the shirt back on to be fully covered again.

“Do you want me to use something else?”

Negasonic smiled softly at Yukio. “If you want to, I wouldn’t mind you using they/them for me.”

“They’re my favorite person in the world,” Yukio said, pretending to be speaking to her reflection. She looked back at Negasonic. “Can I still used girlfriend or would you prefer something else?”

“Girlfriend is fine,” Negasonic said, reaching out to pull Yukio close. “I like being your girlfriend.”

“And I like being yours,” Yukio said as she leaned in for a kiss. “I like you exactly as you are or how you want to be. I just like you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I am cis, so this is largely based on my understanding from my friends' perspective. If anything I wrote here seems wrong or potentially an issue, please let me know in the comments. I'd love to have a conversation to be able to correct and/or learn from it.


End file.
